On Life getting in the way of BJJ & finding your way back.

Taking a break from BJJ always sucks. Life has a tendency to get in the way sometimes. From jobs to relationships, to school, to money, to injury, etc… Life getting in the way of BJJ is the sad reality for most of us regular, hobbyist jiu jitsu practitioners. There are so many reasons out of our control that leave us with no choice but to take some time off training.

When the break is a short one, say between a week and a month, usually, the itch to return to the mats is strong. You spend the days away eagerly counting down to jiu jitsu freedom.

For the longer hiatuses, not so much. You lose the habit, put on weight, lose the cardio and strength, forget the techniques, and then you start to dread your return. Somehow getting back to training doesn’t seem quite so enticing anymore. You keep finding excuses to stay at home, hang out with friends, stare at your dog, wash the toilet… anything to postpone going back to the gym. Before you know it, you’ve become yet another number in the statistic of people who have quit BJJ.

Why is it so hard to start training again?

Well, first of all, your ego is probably getting in the way. Before you took that hiatus, you were probably fairly deep into your BJJ journey. Probably safely out of that fresh meat zone, doing your fair share of tapping the newbies. Or maybe you’re even more experienced than that, hanging with the higher belts and stuff. Wherever you were in your journey, you know what level you were at relative to the people you were training with.

But you know that things are going to be different now. Those guys that you were smashing before? While you were out there struggling with Life, they were putting in their hours grinding away on the mats. When you go back, unfit, overweight, and rusty, these guys will be handing it to you. And that can be a really tough pill to swallow. “Leave your ego at the door” sounds pretty but reality tends to be much closer to “Try to leave your ego at the door”. We all want to be perfect and good people but it takes a lifetime of trying and mistakes. You really have to bite the bullet and mentally prepare yourself for it to suck the first few weeks of training. You’ll slowly get your mojo back but it can be so painfully frustrating.

The second thing is, of course, the physical part of it. Most people tend to gain weight when they stop training, especially if they continue eating the same quantities of food that they were eating while training. So what happens when you get back to training? Your body is totally different, in terms of size, composition, and fitness level. But that’s not what your mind and muscles remember. Your body remembers a bygone era of a fitter and lighter you, and tries to move in the same way. Your current body is unable to keep up. It’s frustrating, you feel like a clumsy, bumbling oaf with weights chained to your feet. You struggle to recall and do techniques you used to ace. Your grips are weak. After 30 seconds of hard sparring, you run to the bin to barf. (Okay, I’m exaggerating a little here.) It cannot get any worse.

As I sit here writing this, well into my second month of no training due to injury, I’m filled with dread thinking about returning to training. Two months is nothing compared to people who have had years off. But two months is enough for your fitness to go to the dumps and for you to forget what regular, hard training is like.

But I’ve done this before. I’ve taken long breaks from training for school, for injury, and I’ve always managed to get back. Knowing what to expect makes it easier yet harder at the same time. You know to mentally prepare for how much it’s going to suck, but at the same time, you question why you have to go back since you already know it’s going to suck…

At the end of day it’s all about what jiu jitsu means to you. How important is it to you? Do you miss it? Can you find another (cheaper) hobby to replace it? Or is it more a lifestyle than a hobby to you? Maybe it’s time to start seriously thinking about what it’s worth to you. Perhaps only then it’ll become clear to you if it’s worth the painful and frustrating restart.

Probably what’s most important is to take things slowly. Temper your expectations of yourself. Don’t get competitive. Trust the process, give your body and mind the time they need to adjust, and before you realise it you’ll be back in the game. I’ll have to come back and revisit this advice when it’s my turn to get back on the mats.

Here’s to all of us lost BJJ souls; may we find our way home.

For the previous post from our blog check here